It believe in the Party. Winston wanted to understand

It was the first time in his life that Winston visited the Chestnut Tree. He had been released from prison three weeks ago. Winston wanted to see where the dismissed Party members go to have a drink. The café was almost empty and the clock struck fifteen. The lonely hour had started. The telescreens were zooming in the corners of the cafe. A peaceful and soft music trickled from the telescreens. Besides the noise of the telescreens, it was deadly silent. Winston was sitting at a table close to the window, staring at his almost empty glass. The waiter came by Winstons table, filling his empty glass with Victory Gin, together with a few drops another bottle. It was the speciality of the cafe,  saccharine flavoured with cloves.When looking up for the first time during his time in the cafe, something entered his view. BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption of the poster on the wall said, while the dark eyes looked deep into Winston’s own. Winston was absorbed in thought about his time in prison while he was looking into the eyes of Big Brother. The telescreen suddenly went on and Winston’s attention was grabbed by the face of Big Brother. Before Big Brother started talking, Winston’s attention was already somewhere else. He was shocked by the amount of times Big Brother he had seen today. It made him realise that he had a goal before he went into prison. The telescreen was talking about an Eurasian army (Oceania was at war with Eurasia: Oceania had always been at war with Eurasia) which was moving southward at terrifying speewar. The news was a special bulletin from the Ministry of Peace. However Winston wasn’t listening at all. Winston’s life goal was to get caught by the Party, spend some time in prison and find out how the Party manipulates the prisoners to believe in the Party. Winston wanted to understand how doublethink, thoughtcrime, Room 101 and 2 + 2 = 5 work in the event of manipulating the prisoners. Winston wanted to learn this, without being transformed to a believer of Big Brother himself. Winston didn’t want to understand this just for himself. He had a goal for his life. He believed he was the one who has to change the world in which they were living. He believed he was the one to make an end to the world of manipulating everyone and everything and the world where everything is fake and are dreams. Winston believed he was the man who has to fulfill his duty. Winston’s idea to change the world started when he became to feel something for Julia. At this point, something in his mind changed. When he laid in his bed one night, alone, He started thinking about life. He started thinking about the fact that it was absurd to not be able to love who you want. Winston was raised with the idea in his family that you may love the one you love. The background, belief or the company where he or she works must not determine that you cannot love that specific person. Winston wanted to apply this thought of his mom into his life and wanted to have accomplished this before Winston rotted away in the ground, eaten by earthworms and centipedes.While Winston was in a relationship with Julia, he thought about the ways how he could accomplish his life goal. Winston thought the only way to do this, was to fully understand how the manipulation of the Party works. Winston was able to understand this when he has gone through the process himself, so had to end up in prison without being manipulated himself. Winston wanted to go into prison on purpose and he discussed his idea with Julia. They started working together, they wanted to change the world they were living in together. During his time in prison, Winston and Julia tried to stay to their own thoughts as close as possible. It was difficult not to be sucked up in the beliefs of the Party, who tried so hard to make you believe them. They didn’t have any support. They were all alone and this was difficult. Julia and Winston had set up their plan for their time in prison, but being alone for so long didn’t make it easier to stick to the plan.